mindful wellness

Website introduction into mindfulness practice. The site offers basic information about  mindfulness meditation practice and offers opportunities to practice through the site. Very nice window into benefits, basic information, and learning the practice, at your fingertips! 

Today, I want to discuss feelings.Thissubjectisa bit more complex because you’ve probably been told that all feelings are okay. And that people feel what they feel.Sometimes, that’s true. But feelings can also get in the way of people’s happiness.

Let’s start with the feeling of anger. Anger is an emotion that helps people stay safe. Parents’ get angry when someone threatens their children. Anger increases attention to threats. However, when people get angry too often or over small things, anger can become quite destructive.

Indulge me for a moment in what may sound like a diversion. This morning, I was at the gym walking around the track. It’s just a little track about 1/16 of a mileand maybe three feet wide. Most people walk around the track between exercise sets or during a warm up or cool down. A few people jog.

So, this morning I’m walking around the track and I see a guy running. Three people are walking in front of him and obviously don’t notice that he’s behind them. Well, thisguy looksangry. Really angry—he kind of yells at the three people on the track who are stillnot noticing him. Then, unbelievably, he kind of pushes through between two of the people with a look of utter loathing on his face.

The question is, does this guy have the right to be angry? Well, if feelingsarealwaystrue, then of course he does. But, is his anger helpful to him? Does his anger protect him of his loved ones? No. Can he change his feelings? Yes,hecan.

You might wonder how. He could do it by changing the thinking that led to his outburst. Thoughts that someone in his position could easily have include, “People have no right to get in my way,” “I’m running and they are walking, so they should clear out and get off the damn track!” or “Stupid people; they should pay better attention!” And you could easily argue that these thoughts could have an element of truth in them.

However, they’re a tad extreme and lead to anger or rage which can either provoke a fight or simply harm the health of the angry person if he feels this way often (and he probably does if he gets so upset over something so trivial). Alternative, more useful thoughts could include, “I wish people would pay more attention,” “Maybe I could be clearer in letting the people in front of me know I’m coming,” or “If I really want to go jogging without other people slowing me down, maybe I’d be better off doing it outside or somewhere else.”

So, just because you feel something, doesn’t make it true. More often than not, intense negative feelings of anxiety, sadness, anger, or rage are brought on by distortions in people’s thoughts. As a fortune cookie I recently saw said, “All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in beliefs.”

Seriously, I saw that from a fortune cookie!

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Most people do what they have to do to get through the day. Though this may sound dire, let’s face it, it’s the human condition. Given the number of people who are depressed or anxious, it’s not surprising that big pharma is doing as well as it is. But for millennia before we turned to government-approved drugs, humans devised clever ways of coping: Taking a walk, eating psychedelic mushrooms, breathing deeply, snorting things, praying, running, smoking, and meditating are just some of the inventive ways humans have found to deal with the unhappy rovings of their minds.

Most people would agree that a lot of our unhappiness comes from the mind’s annoying chatter, which includes obsessions, worries, drifts from this stress to that stress, and our compulsive and exhausting need to anticipate the future. Not surprisingly, the goal of most adults is to get the mind to shut up, calm down, and chill out. For this reason, we turn to our diverse array of feel-good tools (cigarettes, deep breathing, and what have you). Some are healthier and more effective than others, and researchers are finally understanding why certain methods break the cycle and others exacerbate it.But which methods actually work?

Last year, a Harvard study confirmed that there’s a clear connection between mind wandering and unhappiness. Not only did  the study find that if you’re awake, your mind is wandering almost half the time, it also found that this wandering is linked to a less happy state. (You can actually use the iPhone app used in the study to track your own happiness.) This is not surprising, since when your mind is wandering, it’s not generally to the sweet things in your life: More likely, it’s to thoughts like why your electric bill was so high, why your boss was rude to you today, or why your ex-husband is being so difficult.

Another study found that mind wandering is linked to activation of network of brain cells called the default mode network (DMN), which is active not when we’re doing high-level processing, but when we’re drifting about in “self-referential” thoughts (read: when our brain is flitting from one life-worry to the next).

Meditation is an interesting method for increasing one’s sense of happiness because not only has it stood the test of time, but it’s also been tested quite extensively in the lab. Part of the effect of mindfulness meditation is to quiet the mind by acknowledging non-judgmentally and then relinquishing (rather than obsessing about) unhappy or stress-inducing thoughts.

New research by Judson Brewer, MD, PhD and his group at Yale Universityhas found that experienced meditators not only report less mind wandering during meditation, but actually have markedly decreased activity in their DMN. Earlier research had shown that meditators have less activity in regions governing thoughts about the self, like the medial prefrontal cortex: Brewer says that what’s likely going on in experienced meditators is that these “‘me’ centers of the brain are being deactivated.

They also found that when the brain’s “me” centers were being activated, meditators also co-activated areas important in self-monitoring and cognitive control, which may indicate that they are on the constant lookout for “me” thoughts or mind-wandering – and when their minds do wander, they bring them back to the present moment. Even better, meditators not only did this during meditation, but when not being told to do anything in particular. This suggests that they may have formed a new default mode: one that is more present-centered (and less “me”-centered), no matter what they are doing.

“This is really cool,” Brewer says.” As far as we know, nobody has seen this type of connectivity pattern before. These networks have previously been shown to be anti-correlated.”

So is being happy all about shifting our tendency away from focus on ourselves? Research in other areas, like neurotheology (literally the neurology of religion), suggests that there may be something to this. Andy Newberg, MD at the University of Pennsylvania has found that both in meditating monks and in praying nuns, areas of the brain important in concentration and attention were activated, while areas that govern how a person relates to the external world were deactivated. These findings may suggest that for people who practice meditation or prayer, the focus becomes less on the self as a distinct entity from the external world, and more on connection between the two.  This reflects the idea discussed earlier where shifting attention from inside to outside is at least part of what quells unhappiness.

What about using other tools like cigarettes, food, or alcohol, as a method for finding pleasure and calming the mind? Don’t these things take a person outside of him or herself, and move the focus from the inner world of stressful thoughts to something outside, or “other”? Looking forward to the next hit of caffeine, nicotine, or coke might seem like a valid method of moving attention from the inside to the outside, but if you look closer, it actually intensifies the unpleasantness.

Brewer uses the example of smoking to illustrate why addiction fuels negative thoughts rather than abates them. In addition to the pleasurable associations, smoking actually creates a negative feedback loop, where you are linking stress and craving with the oh-so-good act of smoking. So whenever you experience a negative emotion, craving returns and intensifies over time, so that you are actually even less happy than before. A cigarette may quiet the mind temporarily – during the act of smoking – but in between cigarettes is where things get bad, because craving creeps in. Though we’re using craving as the example, unhappiness, self-referential thoughts, or everyday worries can all be substituted in.

So if you’re dealing with unhappiness of any kind, whether it’s every day worries, or more severe depression or anxiety, the method you choose for coping matters. Finding one that solves the problem – breaking the cycle, rather than masking it – is crucial.Substituting a carrot stick or other behavior for your actual craving (or other form of unhappiness) is a typical method of treatment, but it doesn’t often work, says Brewer, because the feedback loop is still there. Addressing the process itself with other methods (like meditation), which allow you to ride out the craving/unhappiness by attending to it and accepting it, and then letting it go, has been more successful, because it actually breaks the cycle rather than masks it.

What type of coping method do you use?

• Maintain good physical health.

This point is so basic it’s often overlooked. Our physical health affects our emotional health much more than we realize. Make sure to eat well, exercise and get plenty of sleep.

As Virgil said: “The greatest wealth is health.”

• Learn to release anger and let go of grudges.

Vent if you have to. Shake it off. Walk it off. Harboring

anger

or ill feelings builds emotional toxicity, which ultimately affects your overall health.

“For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness”. Anonymous 

• Be aware.

Look for the hidden message in negative or difficult situations. Learn from them. Experiencing adversity is meant to alert you to something or teach you a new skill.

 ”Life deals you a lot of lessons, some people learn from them, some people don’t.” Brett Favre

• Keep your brain active.

Don’t let complacency or boredom set in. In order to feel alive and vibrant we need to keep our minds active by learning new things and challenging ourselves.

 ”If I had to live my life again I would have made a rule to read some poetry and listen to some music at least once a week; for perhaps the parts of my brain now atrophied could thus have been kept active through use.” Charles Darwin

• Stimulate your senses.

As well as keeping your mind active, enjoy

beautiful art

, listen to music that lifts your spirits or try a new gourmet dish. Our senses need to be reawakened every now and then too.

 ”Man has no Body distinct from his Soul; for that called Body is a portion of Soul discerned by the five Senses, the chief inlets of Soul in this age.” William Blake

• Have fun and don’t take yourself too seriously.

in life is important for maintaining emotional health. Too much emphasis on work causes stress as well as wear and tear on the body and mind. Take time off; go to the beach, the park or a movie to take your mind off your current quandaries. Chances are when you come back you will see things from a fresher, more productive

perspective

.

“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it.” Jack Handey 

• Maintain supportive relationships.

Maintain good relationships with

friends and family

for much needed feedback, a shoulder to lean on or a different

perspective

. Often we get so caught up in our own problems and misery we can’t see the forest for the trees. Having an objective pair of eyes and ears can give you a whole new way of thinking.

 ”Someone to tell it to is one of the fundamental needs of human beings”. Miles Franklin

• Donate your old clothes, furniture or items you don’t use anymore to your local Good Will, Salvation Army or charity of your choice.

It will make you feel good, first by helping someone out and secondly by cleaning out your closets and basements of ‘stuff’ you haven’t put to use in a long time.

 ”For it is in the giving that we receive.” St. Francis of Assisi

• Take some yoga classes, learn to meditate or incorporate a relaxation technique into your routine.

Besides having fun and not taking yourself too seriously, it’s a good idea to integrate another relaxation strategy into your routine for those times when life gets somewhat overwhelming. Having many methods to fall back on ensures emotional well-being.  

“If a man insisted always on being serious, and never allowed himself a bit of fun or relaxation, he would go mad or become unstable without knowing it”. Herodotus

• Learn to savor and appreciate the moment.

How many times have we heard that

life

is too short? We get so caught up in the whirlwind that we forget to live in the present

moment

. And in those times we’re not caught up in the whirlwind, we’re worrying about the future. It’s time to slow down and enjoy the now!

 ”Life is a memory except for the present moment that goes by so quickly you hardly catch it going.” Tennessee Williams

axelgcom:

Releasing deep emotional wounds and traumas is key to achieving lasting happiness. Learn how to achieve such emotional healing naturally with meditation.

An inspiring blog post about one man’s journey on the path toward mindful wellness.
__________________________________

Do you feel

anxious, hopeless, discouraged, or depressed?

If so I have good news: you can break free from all that negativity. The trick is to learn to make the mind work toward your best interests rather than against them.

Ever since starting this blog, I’ve sung the praises of meditation and right attitude as tools for building mental health. Not that many years ago I felt horribly familiar alltheadjectivesthatopen this post. I had tried many types of therapy and many different pharmaceuticals without much improvement. Eventually, I turned attention inward and began to work with my thoughts and feelings directly.

By clearing out misconceptions and misperceptions, I found clarity and readiness to accept whatever happens in life.I am not immune to grief and disappointment, but I am much more resistantto despair. Meditation succeeded where medication failed.

With the aid of such skills, my mental life improved so dramatically that I now question the value of all the diagnoses that were tossed my direction by doctors. Decisive recovery from longstanding problems shows the capacity of the mind to rework itself; resolution of symptoms also seriously challenges the “brain disease” hypothesis of mood disorders. There was plenty of cognitive detritus obstructing my path, but I doubt there was ever any organic problem in my synapses.

To see how dramaticallyI’veimproved,consider that my mother committed suicide when I was in the first grade. By lateadolescence it seemed obvious to me that my own lifewould end the same way. It was merely a question of timing. How long would I put up with my awful heartache before deciding, in the words of Hamlet, “to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing, end them?”

Despite years of thinking along negative lines, my mind no longer attacks itself. By studying the errors in my perceptions and beliefs,by learning to not mistake feelingsforreality or thoughts for truth, I have found freedom from unbearable darkness. It now seems inconceivable that any emotion or circumstance could drive me to end my life.

This all sounds promising, I hope. It should offer reassurance to those who wonder if they could ever wake up from the nightmare of chronic severe depression. It can be done, I promise.

But how? If one is stuck in the depths of misery, the idea of meditating out of it probably sounds like an impossibledream.And early on observing the mind may actually increase awareness of emotional pain and cognitiveobsession, which can seem like exactly the wrong result. The trick, in my opinion, is to start out with very small goals.

Don’t begin by signing up for a ten-day meditation retreat.Don’t even plan on sitting on a cushion for an hour. Rather, the next time you’re stuck in a waiting room or standing in line, pay attention to how you feel. Explore your sensations. Can you detect your heartbeat? Where do you find pain? Are you breathing or holding your breath? Get in the habit of checking in for a minute or two whenever there’s a lull in the action.

When you feel ready for more, adopt the same practice as you fall asleep. Take a brief break from reviewing and planning to feel your bodily sensations. Indulgein someslow,deepbreaths. See how long you can focus on your body before your thoughts start churning again. Early on, you’ll be doing well if you can remain attentive for fifteen seconds. Be proud if you can achieve that.

Over time, you will extend your range. Maybe you will gaze inwardly a bit longer. Maybe you will catch an obsession and halt it. Every time you succeed, recognize your ability to steer your mental state, even if only briefly. The goal isto gain mastery over your mind, but this process takes years and is never completed, except by Buddhas. At first, consider yourself a champion if you can subdue a destructivethought long enough to choose a healthier one. As you gain skill, you’ll begin to desire more time for meditation. That’s when you should consider a retreat.

But don’t expect too much too soon. If at first you find it too painful to watch and feel,steer your mind toward pleasantmemoriesor daydreams. This isn’t meditation as we usually define it, but it does involve guiding thoughts, so it can be very helpful. Such practice provides welcomebreaks from inner misery. If you feel ambitious, you can use it to build up empowering visualizations. Paint a mental picture of yourself mastering a valued skill, or being generous to others, or feeling well and happy.

From just these brief suggestions,you can see there exist many ways to train the mind, and it can be fun experimenting with different methods. Check books out of the library, search for videos on the internet, or go to local gatherings (which often ask only for voluntary donations). If you have a religious faith, and if you feel comfortable in it, then it is a good idea to get more involved with whatever meditativeor prayerfulactivitiesit offers.

I like to divide mental training into two explorations, though more knowledgeable students recognize many more categories. But for simplicity’s sake, just consider these two paths:

A person can meditate to explore the ocean of consciousness by being mindful of the body, by observing thoughts, by focusing on feelings, by quieting mental activity, and so on.

Alternatively, onecan meditate to connect with cosmic love by centering on the warmth that emanates from the heart, by repeating sacred mantras, through visualizations, by attending spiritual rituals, etc.

I believe it is important for people who feel depressed to do both. Exploring the mind helps one learn to steer thoughts and not act on feelings. Nurturing love in the heart warmsthe inner child who feelslonely and unwanted. One does not need to believein a DivineBeing to find such comfort; just awakening to the affection that arises when holding beloved pets or watching children can accomplish thesameend. But,of course, belief in a loving cosmic presence isa great way to find support if your philosophical prejudices will allow it.

Keep in mind as you work on meditating that other healthful activitiesremain vital. Exercise, good nutrition, socialization, creative arts, and compassionate acts all help improve mood and outlook. These days we can choose from a wide array of therapies and somaticpracticesthataid mental healing. Pursue as many avenues as you can to help yourself improve. Applaudyourself for every victory, but also treat yourself with tenderness. When you feel too depleted to do much of anything, accept your need for contraction and isolation.Complimentyourself for sitting up in bed, if that’s all you can manage. Eventually, when your energy improves, you can do more.

At all times, be aware that the aim is incremental improvement, not sudden sainthood. As they say in Alcoholics Anonymous, “seek progress, not perfection.”

Good luck on your journey.

After a traumatic upbringing, Will Meecham, MD, MA studied ecology, zoology, biophysics, neuroscience, medicine, ophthalmology and reconstructive surgery. In 2000, neck disease prevented him from continuing to work as an oculoplastic surgeon. He spent many years in emotional, intellectual, and spiritual exploration, investigating how people cope with childhood trauma, adult disappointment, and mental distress. He now works as a physician acupuncturist, specializing in the promotion of mental wellness. More of his writings can be found at his personal website and blog, WillSpirit.com, and his acupuncture practice is explained at MarinMedicalAcupuncture.com.